Kenny Rogers? The KFC guy? -Lia Volpe

Haters gone hate. Scrooges gone scrooge. -traci regarding nisas holiday bong.

I aint scared of shit. I dont even wear seat belts. -stephen

I was wasped earlier
I need to talk to you. You're sobering.

I've been in 9 weddings. Been the best man 3 times. No big deal, just the best man. -Jeremy

That political figure? Anne Frank? Isn't she blind and deaf? -Krista

Seagulls. Sky rats. -krista

Straight treatin' myself on a front-Nisa

If a four fingered man asked u to give him some skin would it be appropriate for him to say "give me some foreskin?" your thoughts? -chris

I've been chokin' girls since you were a little girl"-jeremy

I don't gotta rubberneck about it. I've got peripherals, mother fucker

Id rather listeb to dubstep while I sleep than listen to this-Nisa

I wish I had a silence to awkward-kevin smith

Rapes only wrong if they remember it-Cristian

You can be gay all day long, but that doesn't mean you have to wear those hideous shorts. -Rodney

I might be a broke nigga, but I'm a good nigga -B

You love bald balls and Katie Stanley!!! -Krista from Sweat

How rude am I? I'm pretty fucking polite. God damn right, I am. -Rodney

I've been pulling pieces of my teeth out. I'm fucking sick of it. -Stephen

I don't want to own anything, I just want to have stuff -Harry

I'll put up with some real terrible dudes for free food. -Nisa

Carriers can't be choosers...-Ashley

Fwd:From: Ian Dick Hickey
Msg: Flow chart of last night as I remember it. Play> broken door> puke on your legs> titty bar> AWESOME dog> biscuts and gravy.

Assholes don't handle crazy really well -Vanna

"if acne hasnt hit him yet then you shouldnt either." -Cool Ethan

I was picking my nose and i found boogers, hair, some lint and some glitter-Nisa

"Polly, I support your mistakes"-Krista

Im so excited to not be in jail on your birthday this year!-ashley

Most kids question their sexuality. You guys weren't even sure you were human-Stephen

"If I have to meet one more 'Ashley' I'm gonna scream. How many people's parents really just love that name?" - Coco Love

Bon Jovi is seriously what this traffic jam is about? I knew Bon Jovie would fuck up my life at some point or another.-keds

I only eat chicken and turkey because I hate birds. - Pinky

You seem like a mashed potatoes and ketchup kinda gal-krista

We should get a club mascot... a clam. I'd call him Adam Clambert. - Traci

"no, i dont hold my mouth that wat..like im just waiting for a cock." -ashley

"oh, you're pregnant? Let's go see Doctor...Martin!!!!" -Brant

This dude asked me how old I am and I told him 13. He asked if I wanted a shot and a cigarette.-Neesie

I was tryin' to fuck, but then he got his ass beat. Now we're just friends. -Smash

Love can wait. Im tryin to fuck

A gay bitch can tell a gay ass nigga-nisa regarding sean from HIM

You know what's never attractive? Desperation.-Brant

Let's start a Flint husky powered taxi service. -polly

in Flint I think you'd have to use pittbulls. -brooke

My mom's a big ole bitch. She didn't used to be..back when she was a stripper. Her name was Sybil.-Kevin

Im not ambidextrious im a realist-pam at the bar

Im too high to try -charlie

"All bitches have a bitch serum.
my exes was sailor jerry.
Two drinks and she was ready to fight anyone. In particular, me." -Kevin

Care to make a friendly wager?-brant
no, thats too friendly...-polly

Great, tranny. Now everyone knows you have aids. -vanna

Me: "Of course I'd start my period while I'm sick. Why not? " Dad: "It's just to let you know you're alive."

To Maria "If we had a baby together it wouldn't be mine!" - Randy

I hate strippers, all they do is carry whipped cream around. - Deonte

Gucci mane said nigga its 96 degrees outside. Bur. -kurt

Yep. Just eating cheese covered bacon at 3 in the morning. -traci

No one wants to see gravy on titties. Ok? -nisa

I only eat donuts and cocaine. -empty

Its only 16 degrees out, man.-polly

"its 16? Its legal. I could fuck the weather if i wanted."-andy

These are my ridin boots.-tray

you have a bike?-allie

no, i ride cocks.-tray

Im pretty sure you could get someone to sexually assault you-traci

I should have like 20/20 hearing! -kate the stripper monster

I never noticed how fake your hair is til I saw it wet. The water beads up on it like a starter jacket. Charlotte hornets 94. -kevin

If I wanna eat a burrito more than I wanna eat your pussy..I don't love you. -A.W.

I'm glad I am eating right now so I have something to throw up later. - Polly (new years)