If you change a dogs name he goes retarded. -curt

I aint been fuckin her on her period! I aint been fuckin her, period! -curt

Im like johnny depp weird, not crazy cat lady weird. Traci

Life is too short to not play farmville

Are you preparred for the Cocopocalypse? -rocky

I like coffee like my women, cold and bitter.....and hooefully cheap. -antoine from viva la vox

Whoa! that lady has some pants on. -Skkye

Woah. That lady's got some pants on.. -skkye

Via Text

You better come back when I'm workin'! -Stripclub Waitress

You better come practice when I get my pole up in my rec area. -Andy

Hahaha. -Andy

Where's my fuckin' coke? -Andy

Whores love Kesha. -andy

he gave the dick to you, now he's bein a dick to you

He has a longboard. I have a techdeck. -dj lbm

Im a left handed jacker offer-smashley

His fucking headline is Down With The Clown!! I FUCKING HATE MICHIGAN!-Traci

If I was a little bit prettier Id be fuckin' everyone-traci

I like my women like i like my pancakes. Battered.-cam

Im not even popular anymore. Ive been sleeping with the same two dudes for four years!-bailey

SAA

"yeah well i glanced through it and saw (The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop addictive sexual behavior.) that was enough for me to say fuck all that noise. I'm sticking with pussy." -Ben regarding Sex Addicts Anonymous

That bitch got some janky, chunky highlights. Them highlights died in '02.-nisa

zombie highlights!!!-polly

I'm thinkin incestuous thoughts.-bones

I just started my period. -polly

buzz kill of the week.-bones

Freedom of speech? Fuck you. I had a hickey on my dick from this chick sucking me so hard. What the fuck. Anyway, I'm on prozac now. -Dan

I've never had stitches on my penis-Dan The Man

That penetration was weak...-traci

If I'm pregnant I'll jump off a bridge.-Pretty Polly

It's not that serious. They have vacuums for that. Like attachments. I think Dyson makes it.-Traci Jean

At least she's crazy and not retarded-Christi regarding Traci's child

Did you start out for vegas right after the UFO convention? Wow 2 best things ever to have in a sentence together

I am not too proud to be the little spoon-Noah

I like my pop like I like my women. Flat.-Stephen

Relationships are all good unless there's the potential for a hostage situation-Andy

I'm totally going to bedazzle my snuggie! -some random girl Andy had over

It's shocking to me how many people can't spell the word "PUMPKIN". Look. "P-U-M-K-I-N...Pump-kin. -Traci

"I asked a girl for a number in front of her boyfriend and told her that i had every intention of being more than friends with her and then the boyfriend found me at the party and told me that i should prolly lose his girlfriends number and then i told him its no big deal, i just really want to fuck your girlfriend and much to my surprise he didnt punch me in the face." -Vegas Chris the Banker

"Whatever, Japan can wait" -Eby

'I live in Flint, a city full of goons.' - Will

Im tryina go to war with a bitch, not just lay there-will iam

Nah, it's cool. I can eat and go off.- Mama

My fears in life are getting thrown up on and buying new pants-Traci

Hello-Antonio

Fuck off-Mama

"i always knock up married chicks. you gotta be moral, cuz" -cam

GOOB- "i dont smoke."
KEDS: "well you better start smokin' and gimme one".

If youre not your favorite band...fucking quit-rockstar aaron

"fuck yeah, Blanket Monster" ashley

"I got a lot of laughs out of her. Not like I made her laugh, but at her expense" -Eby

Don't wing it when you know you're a straight idiot.-Nisa

If I got this pell grant money I'm not goin' to work.-Ashley

"I'm 'bout to set her on fire"-Nisa

"they don't sell to minors..."-Jared

"i can easily tell youre 25. Its not a bad thing, I mean, youre still standing..."-homeless ass Kurt

This pussy smells like the great depression-aaron

Your quote blog sucks. Quote that. -Stephen

Your quote blog sucks.-Stephen

Why you itchin'-Ashley

I got more merca.-Nisa

I'm sick of looking on stage at New Path patients. -Mama Chris

Her knees are freaking me out. - Brooke

"this is real life and we're making it up as we go along" -Texas

Polly-Im not behind that whole 'eatin aint cheatin' philosophy.

Traci-You mean the Brian Cooper school of dating?

"i was never a huge brown eye fan" -skkye

"i gives no fucks. Rub my back." -polly

"jesus gave everyone sphylis" -Dj Filth

JJ: I'm just sayin..Asian bitches are way hotter than Chinese bitches..

Keds: JJ. Where the fuck do you think China is?

JJ: I don't care, dude. They're hotter

"did you know Nisa's cussin' on the facebook?" -Nisa's grampa via Nisa

"There's a lot of faggots in this world. Get a shirt that fits, bitch" -Big Bone

"They don't know about these real life problems" -Yung T

"you know a dude likes you when he thinks your hemeroid is cute" -traci

Hey creepy lurkers...

Follow(click the button on the right) the blog and comment, duh.

Also, a lot of posts have been 'authored' by the wrong person due to a texting error. Turns out I'm not a huge narcissist.

Traci

"I can't fight. I'll just humiliate you until you want to die." -Traci

Christina: Tattoo groupies, man.

Traci: Yeah. Permanently displaying to the world how dumb they are, one ironic tattoo at a time.

"I'll make sure there is no more bathroom useage in your basement, Polly. Thank you for choosing Kurt." -Kurt

Cici: FUCK, I HATE THIS PLACE, I GOTTA GET OUT OF THIS PIECE OF SHIT JOB!
Christina: Consider me your messiah. Get out.

"How long do you think (showgirl) has before she dies?" -Bill

"I have no desire to see a midget stripper. Bitch, where's the resta ya?" -Dj Little Big Man

"i cry sometimes, i am a human. i don't have autism..." -anonymous

"Bitch, that's Bob Evans sausage.." -Desire

"I'm 'bout to start suckin' dicks." -Desire

"I haven't had this much fun in Flint since running from bullets on the North End." -Jeff

"Cam: This dude bled a virgin dry...left a quarter sized stain on a box spring.
Irish Dave: That was one time!"

"La Azteka's tacos melt when you touch them. I can't even fuck with that shit." -Cam

Sick Day

"If I could cook I would make you soup. I can't, so you get eggs." - Noah

Opportunity Lives Here

"I'd just like to accomplish anything my parents would be proud enough to put a bumper sticker on their car for." - Traci Jean


Phone Call


Receptionist: "Can you please spell Mark's last name?"
Traci: "Um. Excuse me?"
Receptionist: "Your child's father, it's Mark isn't it?... Oh, sorry, I mean Kyle."
Traci: "Same thing."

"Continental Airline passengers please board Continental Airlines airplane, not Delta." -airport worker

xxx sunday

"Oh, man, that was just in your butt." -Traci Jean

"I can tell by his frame he's poor." -Polly

"Hosey and the Sewerrats" -Chris from Vegas

"He smacked her ass off the curb into traffic, nigga. That bitch did a 360 into the street." -Coco Love

"I've had more cocks in me than a daisy bb gun"-Roxxy

"You're as useless as a white crayon." -Homeless ass Kurt