I like my pop like I like my women. Flat.-Stephen

Relationships are all good unless there's the potential for a hostage situation-Andy

I'm totally going to bedazzle my snuggie! -some random girl Andy had over

It's shocking to me how many people can't spell the word "PUMPKIN". Look. "P-U-M-K-I-N...Pump-kin. -Traci

"I asked a girl for a number in front of her boyfriend and told her that i had every intention of being more than friends with her and then the boyfriend found me at the party and told me that i should prolly lose his girlfriends number and then i told him its no big deal, i just really want to fuck your girlfriend and much to my surprise he didnt punch me in the face." -Vegas Chris the Banker

"Whatever, Japan can wait" -Eby

'I live in Flint, a city full of goons.' - Will